This quote pretty much sums up my life. But I'll leave that a moment and tell you why i haven't been the best blogger ever... I've been doing my final year project and dissertation... most of the past few months... yes i know i've had the whole year to do it but i've had other modules to do on top of that so i didn't start concerntrating on it until recently.

Right, typical moaning about heartbreak you can skip this bit if you want, So i think last time i wrote in this blog i had a friend with benefits, now this friend with benefits asked me out on valentines day which was a major shock, but we both agreed it was nothing serious which basically meant to me don't plan for the future, however it meant to him not to fall in love with him. So 3 months, he had a gambling problem so he blew all his money, so i had to sustain him with cigarettes, food and drink, i never got that date i was promised and when we broke up i found he was going back to his ex and thats why he'd kept a lot of things secret from me, like going home to see his little sis, actually meant i'm going home to go swimming with my ex. After all of that i got a bit crazy and told his ex that he had previously cheated on her with me and that was true, but not exactly my place to say. Then a few days later i'd finished all my uni work and wanted to go out with my friends and it was fine until the actual night where people kept coming up and asking about my sex life, which is something i'm highly private about. So i asked my ex to not say anything again, we got into a big arguement where somehow he thought i had told people about it which i never would, i don't think other people would be interested in my sex life.

Anyway i was totalling up how my love life has gone so far ... recently its been dumped twice in four months, both going back to their ex's, Haven't been on a proper date for 3 and half months and haven't had sex in like 4 weeks. So whilst i want to give up on love and pretend it doesn't exist, I cannot help but still want it, its the romantic in me.

In other news, i've been planning on what i want to do after university since *fingers crossed* i graduate this july. I'm definately set on the idea of teaching english in thailand and then maybe travelling back across europe :). I have to take a TEFL course first but that shouldn't be too hard, i just want to start my new life already, i'm kinda bored here the same things happening and stuff.

Ciao xx

There is only Love and Death

So i would do a beautiful post of what i was doing valentines, but i'm attending bitter singles' day instead. I don't really get the hype of valentines, if i was in a relationship sure i'd like to be pampered but i wouldn't wanna go to a pricy resturaunt just cause its valentines or have overpriced gifts, i'd just enjoy a picnic by the river at night and stare up at the stars. Yes i'm a hopeless romantic, i just want someone to show me love does exist because most of my relationships seem to last the span of 1 month -3 months, am i really that hard to be with? I know i have issues but surely everyone does its what makes them unique. This is basically a rant of why does it have to be one special day and why does it always make single people feel like crap, yeah we could do things, but you'd be surrounded by couples and crap and feel even worse.

Right lets update you on my life, if we can call it that, i feel like i've been ditched by my" friends" but i did kinda go off and have sex with someone who's a friend, Friends with benefits, now isn't that another complicated situation in my life, we both really like each other but he wants a rebound girl or in simple terms a bit of time to sleep around, now i shouldn't be mad cause we're not together but hes offered me a date in march so its all a bit confusing. But that also gives me a free ticket for a while not that i would, i'm not that kind of person, but its there. Apparently i kissed someone last friday which i do not remember my drinking habits need to slow down there.

Ciao xxx

Past week

Well i've been a terrible blogger, but i've had a busy week due to exams and an actual social life, i know shocking right?!

So past week, friday went to chill round my mates house did the same saturday, and then sunday and monday was revision for my exam on tuesday that went weirdly well but i'm a bit freaked out that i finished early but i choose the easiest questions on the paper in my view. Then tuesday night i went out with all my friends which was amazing but the hangover in the morning was terrible, i've never had a hangover that bad, smoked far too much as well. Wednesday i went shopping with my best mate who still felt drunk and i felt just hanging, in this trip i brought wayyy too much underwear and some books also got measured for bras and apparently i've gone up now a 34DD which is so bizzare cause i've lost weight over christmas. And today i've not really done much, did some revision this morning and then went to town to buy a nurses outfit for tomorrow night and a new purse cause my old one was falling apart.

Just so its not all text heres the week in pictures :


My new books the great gatsby and fear and loathing.

My inspiration board, can you tell i like hunter s thompson?
This eyemask pretty much sums up how i feel about life right now.

Also for the things i love thursday:

• Hunter s thompson
• Getting drunk
• New underwear
  
• Burlesque stuff aka nippe tassles
  
• Heathly eating, its cleared up so many of my skin problems however i have so much energy i don't know what to do with it.
  
• The film Easy A for giving me the quote 'Throwing my cat around'
  
  
  Thats all for now
  

Ciao xxx

Things i love Thursday

Okay so this is cause i said i was being positive.

So things i'm loving include.

• Friends. New and old. I'm really thankful i have my friends they're there for the good times and the bad.
  
• Finishing my essay i know its a lame one and i shouldn't have left it to the last minute.
  
• Sunlight coming through my window in the morning, i took down my blackout curtains and its lovely to wake up naturally.
  
• Fresh flowers, this is one of the things i am getting when my loan comes through along with batteries and hairdye my roots are getting pretty bad.
  
• My satin sheets, i know it sounds silly but i really like the feel of them on my skin.
  
• Burlesque, this is a new hobby of mine i'm practicing in the new year to make me feel sexy and give me a bit more confidence.
• One person room raves, seriously if you are ever feeling the slightest bit down put some upbeat music on and dance in your underwear best cure ever!
  

That is all for this thursday.

Ciao xxx

Happy 2011

This picture pretty much sums up the state i was in .... on the right is my new found friend i had many more, but if that party describes the year coming i'm in for a good one.

Out with the old, In with the new

No i'm not talking about gifts yet (that is a thing for a later date). What i am talking about though is thinking.

Recently i stumbled on a blog by Gala Darling( http://galadarling.com) which was very inspirational, i have no idea how that girl comes up with these amazing upbeat articles but its totally changed my outlook on life. After recently getting ditched for no apparent reason by the man who i thought was 'the one' i thought it was going to be wallowing in another pit of dispear which life threw at me, probably due to the mercury retrograde though. Instead of chasing after this guy, which he may or may not come back i decided to love myself instead. Obviously you are not born optimistic but it helps if the environment you grew up in was upbeat and positive, sadly mine was not but after reading Gala Darling's articles, old and new, i felt like i could face the world again. It made me realise i can do anything i put my mind to and more, i'm going to cherish the little things and try and get off the internet and spend more time outside, time with friends, time with myself.

Try positive thinking today, when i get back to my place in stafford i'm going to stick a quote simplying saying 'Smile' On my mirror so i will see it every morning.

So i want to say a big thank you to Gala Darling for being so inspirational, i look up to you and you are such a role model for me.

Ciao
xoxoxo

Can a heart still break when its stopped beating?

Well as the title states some unkind gentleman has broken my heart 3 days before Xmas, which wasn't appreciated. He still likes me apparently which is bollocks really sorry for my bad language but if he still liked me maybe he'd still be with me. The excuse i got was he isn't over his ex and needs sometime to sort out his head... heres praying he comes back to me....He came to pick me up on sunday as well took me out to dinner and cinema and didn't tell me then, he told me two days later over text. I know i shouldn't really wait for him to come back, but i haven't exactly got men queueing for me and in my heart he was 'The one' Silly really a guy i've known for a month thinking he could be the one. But we had so much in common, we'll see what the new year brings.

Would you wait for a guy or Would you just move on?

Ciao xxx