Monday, 6 December 2010


(wow two posts in two days i have a lot of thoughts, also this is kind of becoming my personal diary i hope none of you mind, who were expecting post in fashion etc)

Well on the subject on isolation, I've been reading about burlesque and in this book it tells you to think about what inspires you and i guess the feeling of isolation really inspires me. I guess its because i have been isolated most of my life. I guess this started from watching early Tim Burton films and i really identified with characters in his films, like Edward scissorhands the boy who couldn't touch and the villians in his films were always just misunderstood people. Recently i've been watching some really bleak things and getting into bands like Joy division and remembering my love for the smiths and the cure. I mean i can also kind of relate to Frankensteins monster in that he wasn't a monster at all, just people didn't understand him and suddenly hated him for being different.
There have been times in my life that i was like Frankensteins monster really, i never had anywhere to fit in. In school i was the geek, people picked on me because i sounded posh and i really enjoyed school which many children don't, as i grew older i went in the goth/emo direction and found some people like me unfortunately they were quite immature and i had to stupidly lower my intelligence sometimes to hang out with them. Then i got to university and i don't know why but i got the label of a sexual deviant/ party animal but then when people find out about my geeky past i don't know why i still get mocked.
This post isn't a post for pity comments or anything but i've recently got into an awkward house situation and i just feel isolated the thing is that it isn't as bad as i thought it would be, i'm actually quite happy to be on my own saying that though i've spoken to Mr b and hes kinda the same as me quite depressive and pessimistic, but i'm not going to gush about it, its just nice i've found someone like me y'know instead of this angry mob trying to force me to fit into the world which i don't think i ever will.

Ciao xx

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