Out with the old, In with the new

No i'm not talking about gifts yet (that is a thing for a later date). What i am talking about though is thinking.

Recently i stumbled on a blog by Gala Darling( http://galadarling.com) which was very inspirational, i have no idea how that girl comes up with these amazing upbeat articles but its totally changed my outlook on life. After recently getting ditched for no apparent reason by the man who i thought was 'the one' i thought it was going to be wallowing in another pit of dispear which life threw at me, probably due to the mercury retrograde though. Instead of chasing after this guy, which he may or may not come back i decided to love myself instead. Obviously you are not born optimistic but it helps if the environment you grew up in was upbeat and positive, sadly mine was not but after reading Gala Darling's articles, old and new, i felt like i could face the world again. It made me realise i can do anything i put my mind to and more, i'm going to cherish the little things and try and get off the internet and spend more time outside, time with friends, time with myself.

Try positive thinking today, when i get back to my place in stafford i'm going to stick a quote simplying saying 'Smile' On my mirror so i will see it every morning.

So i want to say a big thank you to Gala Darling for being so inspirational, i look up to you and you are such a role model for me.

Ciao
xoxoxo

Can a heart still break when its stopped beating?

Well as the title states some unkind gentleman has broken my heart 3 days before Xmas, which wasn't appreciated. He still likes me apparently which is bollocks really sorry for my bad language but if he still liked me maybe he'd still be with me. The excuse i got was he isn't over his ex and needs sometime to sort out his head... heres praying he comes back to me....He came to pick me up on sunday as well took me out to dinner and cinema and didn't tell me then, he told me two days later over text. I know i shouldn't really wait for him to come back, but i haven't exactly got men queueing for me and in my heart he was 'The one' Silly really a guy i've known for a month thinking he could be the one. But we had so much in common, we'll see what the new year brings.

Would you wait for a guy or Would you just move on?

Ciao xxx

The Past Becomes You

Round this time of year I always look back and see what i have accomplished and basically reflect upon the year gone by.
So Lets look at some of my achievements this year :
-The first one that springs to mind is living in another country (Greece). This was a massive acheievement within my life, firstly I wanted to live in another country to prove my independance at first it felt like a holiday but then i became massively homesick and then i got over that and got on with it. Whilst there i learnt the language which everyone always looks at me and goes isn't greek a really hard language to learn and yes it was but thats why i felt i'd accomplished something i felt really good and i made some amazing friends within that time.
-I found a house after my boyfriend at the time decided he didn't want to live with me which was difficult and has led to some difficult times this year due to other circumstances.
-I got a job because i only had £7 of my overdraft left which made me realise that money means a lot to me.
-I also survived heartbreak and met another beautiful person who teaches me money doesn't matter as long as you enjoy what you are doing.
-In a way i realised how much my family means to me, being away from them and then seeing them again really put things in perspective but i still want to move to another country in the future.
Things i need to consider next year :
- What i'm going to do with my life...like job wise as my degree is coming to an end, i mean i know what i want to do but its just getting there really.
- Future life... like where i'll live, who i want to keep close after this experience at uni and maybe even potential love life.

This is a really long post but its putting things into perspective for me and Well on that note.

I wish you all a merry christmas and a happy new year!!!!!

Ciao xxxx

Isolation

(wow two posts in two days i have a lot of thoughts, also this is kind of becoming my personal diary i hope none of you mind, who were expecting post in fashion etc)

Well on the subject on isolation, I've been reading about burlesque and in this book it tells you to think about what inspires you and i guess the feeling of isolation really inspires me. I guess its because i have been isolated most of my life. I guess this started from watching early Tim Burton films and i really identified with characters in his films, like Edward scissorhands the boy who couldn't touch and the villians in his films were always just misunderstood people. Recently i've been watching some really bleak things and getting into bands like Joy division and remembering my love for the smiths and the cure. I mean i can also kind of relate to Frankensteins monster in that he wasn't a monster at all, just people didn't understand him and suddenly hated him for being different.
There have been times in my life that i was like Frankensteins monster really, i never had anywhere to fit in. In school i was the geek, people picked on me because i sounded posh and i really enjoyed school which many children don't, as i grew older i went in the goth/emo direction and found some people like me unfortunately they were quite immature and i had to stupidly lower my intelligence sometimes to hang out with them. Then i got to university and i don't know why but i got the label of a sexual deviant/ party animal but then when people find out about my geeky past i don't know why i still get mocked.
This post isn't a post for pity comments or anything but i've recently got into an awkward house situation and i just feel isolated the thing is that it isn't as bad as i thought it would be, i'm actually quite happy to be on my own saying that though i've spoken to Mr b and hes kinda the same as me quite depressive and pessimistic, but i'm not going to gush about it, its just nice i've found someone like me y'know instead of this angry mob trying to force me to fit into the world which i don't think i ever will.

Ciao xx

Life

Spose its been a while since i posted, both my dates with, lets call him mr b haha, went very well he is such a gentleman, we click on many levels and its really cool, but i don't want to blabber on about this because a relationship, if thats what i can call it, is between two people not the world.
In other news i watched Easy A i can really relate to it as people here think i'm a slut, i'm just a flirtacious person really but yeah that rang a bell with me and i wish my life was like an 80's romance movie haha like that scene in Say Anything with john cussack holding the boombox outside her window.

Apart from that my living situation has become kinda awkward but i guess i can ride it out till may and see what happens. I want to take up two new hobbies burlesque and photography but the photography will have to stay on hold till i can afford an SLR but i have ordered a how to burlesque dvd and a book on burlesque.

Ciao xxx

Erotica 2010

Erotica is a 3 day event for 18+ obviously, it is where people can indulge in their adult fantasies. They had daily shows and many shops exhibiting things from fetish wear to normal things like jewellery.The shows were mainly fire dancers, burlesque performers and just general strippers. They also had a latex fashion show.

So i travelled to london on the friday as i was going to this event on the saturday as i had a lecture on friday heres me counting down the minutes.

So Saturday, we got up at 10 am so we could have a full english and i could beautify myself. I wanted to look so good because i had a chance to meet my idol Dita Von Teese.

So after numerous rides on the ever packed tube, i hate it i really do because a lot of lines on the underground don't work and thats why it was soo busy. As soon as i walked into Erotica they gave me a glitter heart tattoo, which lasted all weekend.

We wandered round looking at the stores and stuff, and i was a little hungry but we stumbled onto Dita Von Teese's tent so i immediately got in the queue being nervous and excited i forgot all about my hunger. The guy who was managing the queue said there may be a chance that we won't get to meet her which made me more determined to meet her . We waited in the queue for like an hour... Finally we got to the front of the queue and then she disappeared and i was like oh no i'll never get to meet her... but then she came back after like 10 minutes i guess she went to the toilet or something. When i got in i was shaking so much and trying not to cry and she told me not to be so nervous. Looking at her she was flawless in everyway so beautiful.

After this we went to get something to eat i just choose a salad and didn't eat much of it as i was still shaking. After this we did some shopping, i brought a corset, a tutu and a cupcake dress all fit beautifully i only have a picture of my corset though sorry.

Excuse my hair and my face this was after travelling back on sunday but it fits so lovely i'm so happy with it but when the woman in the shop laced it for me i almost died but it makes me feel so sexy wearing corsets. I saw a beautiful one for £200 maybe one day that shop made corsets for Dita. Later on we watched Dita perform her show 'The opium den' which was quite good but i was expecting more pizzaz, there would be a video of this but you weren't allowed to take photos or videos of the show. The music she danced to was by The cure which i was really amazed at because i found it on my ipod. But i was so amazingly happy that day but boy was i glad to get home my feet started hurting because of my heels but i was determined to keep fighting.
I'll leave you with a co-ordinate of sunday where basically i was preparing for going home and eating sunday roast.

Ciao xxx

Co-ordinate

Just a quick outfit i wore for university today.

Just a geeky winter outfit, i've never been brilliant dressing for winter :(

Sickness and Health

So recently i caught a stomach bug, which was last week. I actually thought i was going to die it was that bad, i caught it wednesday and decided to take thursday off from university just incase i could have passed it onto anyone else. I thought i was better friday but I started feeling really faint but i went to my lecture and tried my best.
From this sickness i lost some weight and i want to keep it off so i can get closer to my goal of 8st 12 although i will be quite sad if my curves disappear, i remember being 12 and always wanting hips so i could wear hipster jeans. So today i spent an hour on the wii fit, 30 mins doing general aerobic and muscle exercise and the other 30 mins doing yoga which is something i really love doing. I also went to the supermarket made a meal plan and got everything i needed for this week along with some christmas presents.

I have some exciting things coming up soon anyway so you might get some pictures of this, I am going to see dita von teese perform at the erotica 2010 in london this weekend which is like a dream for me as she encapsulates the sex appeal i want. And the weekend after i have a date with a guy i met at hed kandi we've been texting for over a week now since we met, which makes me get my hopes up a little but its meant to be a light hearted just see where it goes. In case any of you are wondering the previous guy i was with [my housemate] we figured it wasn't working and that we were just really close friends.

This has turned into a really long post, i'm sorry if any of you manage to read this i will be impressed though.

Ciao xx

Weekend

So i went home for the weekend to see my mum we went clubbing at gatecrasher because Hed Kandi was on but obviously it wasn't as good as the ibiza one my mum went to.

Sunday we went to my nanna's for dinner which was nice, but it was just so lovely to see my family again since its been four months since i last went back home.

This is what i woke to this morning my cat in my bed, apparently this winter is cold for her too.

Ciao xxx

Quick post

I feel like a bad blogger as i have nothing of importance to say however i will show you some pictures of the past few days so you can have some clue to what i have been doing.
This was for pimps and hoes night but i decided to go burlesque.

My outfit was just a corset on top of a dress with a sequin jacket

I tried a new make-up style but i'm not sure if i like it, its quite sweet and i'm more rock.
Here are my new nails nothing fancy but its better than one colour.

Will try and post more informative things or interesting
Ciao
xxx

Co-ordinate 2/11/10

Totally noticed my fringe is uneven in these pics, its only cause i straightened one side and apparently forgot to do it. I think i was scared of getting a false eyelash stuck in my straightners.
by the end of the day my feet were killing me.
I've recently dyed my hair again purple, i'm not sure how vibrant it will come out, also going out tonight to a pimps nd hoes event, i'm wearing my corset and my whole outfit looks very burlesque.

Ciao xx

Halloween Weekend

I know this is late but i was in london for the whole weekend and i would have blogged via my phone but the battery went dead since i kept looking on facebook haha.
So saturday we went camden for shopping, i brought a panda t-shirt and some fake eyelashes and my man got me some skull cupcake hairslides. We went to a japanese/vietnamese resturaunt and both had bentos as above, we also had some dumplings but i think they made me ill. In the evening we went to a party here are mine and my man's costumes, i was snow white and he was a 70's cop

I got very drunk and fell over and also the hangover took its toll, and not one of my most gracious moments but shopping the next day, i threw up into a bin i know classy right. I haven't drank in ages so i didn't know my limits i just think maybe i shouldn't actually drink, i don't like the taste nor the after effects :(.
But all in all i had a great weekend even though it was very tiring, i feel asleep on the train back hehe.

Filming

Right first is my outfit and make up, i wanted to rock this liz lisa doll top up because i always feel that brand has to be in a sweet co-ordinate but i think i managed to pull it off, even though i apparently looked busty in that top.

Hair and make up, i thought i'd wear my giant headbow thats meant for my snow white out fit i think it went well but my hair definately needs more volume.
Here is my bento box from yesturday still trying to be healthly i'm managing well but sometimes i get cravings so i have an orange or some peanut butter on toast.
And finally this is a picture from the set yesturday, i was filming with my group for my film and sound project. We're doing it about insomnia which is really interesting for me as i had a problem sleeping a few weeks back when i was working for the bar and now i just sleep like a baby.

Will try and post tomorrow before i go to london but can't promise anything

Ciao xx

Panda Bento

Quick face shot even though i'm still feeling ill, i love my bowler hat and my bow tie necklace. Promise you i am wearing make up but flash face =\


In an effort to eat healthier and control my portion sizes, i decided to make bentos for lunch.
This is my panda bento, i kinda got lazy with the panda and didn't give him a mouth.
Also in other news, i went to uni in the rain got wet feet just to find out my lecture was cancelled as is my thursday lecture meaning i only have a lecture on friday.... sometimes it makes me wonder why i bothered going to uni.
For this halloween i'm going as snow white and i'm gunna be spending it in london with my man and some of his friends.
Ciao xxx

Quick co-ordinate post

Military style inspired by mitsu's new W*C camo shorts she posted a nicer co-ordinate on her blog though.

I'm ill so no make-up shot cause i'd taken off most of my foundation by blowing my nose :( stupid flu. But i got some treats for myself shopping i got foundation, powder and a face and hair mask to pamper myself.

Ciao xxx

Picture spam & cinema

Few pics from my phone these were both taken on monday the first was trying to show off my outfit... and then the other was me messing about with vampire sweet fangs haha such a joker. I had two pints of beer that day and was tipsy it was really weird.


So yesturday i went to a japanese resturant called woktastic in birmingham, it was really nice and way better than the chain wagamama. We had gyoza and dim sum for starter but i didn't manage to take a picture of it as we ate it too quickly haha.



Me trying to look good whilst being ill, the cold and the wind made my hair frizz though :(
My main meal was chicken sesame soba noodles it was really nice.



Hulk smash!
Haha i had to take this picture. I'm wearing the dress i brought off Tori its so comfortable, i'm also holding my low fat frozen ben and jerrys yoghurt :). The film itself was very scary even scarier than the first, sound played a huge part in it though.

Ciaoxxx

Update

So last friday i had it off from work for a change so me and my man went out with a two of his friends in manchester i had a reallly nice night out and lots of cocktails we found this japanese cocktail bar that made traditional cocktails but they used sake in them too. It was really nice above is my outfit for the night i tried to take the best picture i could of my outfit.



Today i recieved my Glad news dress that i ordered from Tori.
You guys should check out her blog she does really nice co-ordinates anywhom this dress is everything i wanted and more. I'm gunna wear it on my date tomorrow, we're seeing paranormal activity and going to a japanese resturaunt in birmingham that actually does all you can eat for £10.99 which i can't wait for.
Job stuff: well i have work tonight but i have the flu eurgh terrible. But all i'm thinking is i finish this job on sunday at 6pm that'll give me more of a chance to concertrate on my studies like a good girl :)

Ciao xxx

New ....

Hair again.

Also lets review some personal news, so my job i had was getting far too stressful so i've had to quit. I was working 28-30 hours and i asked for my hours to be cut but they slowly started creeping back up again, plus i couldn't continue working those kind of hours with my final year of university piling on top of me. Recently i have been craving to go to france again i think its cause i feel like i belong there so it would be nice right now when i'm feeling so lost.
I've also been dealing with some depression issues lately but i think that will dwindle down once i have finished working my final two weeks, which i know will be hell because another girl has quit the same time as me like a couple of days before me.

Thats all for now i will try to keep on top on my blogging i'm really sorry to those that are following me.

Ciao x

Flowering Tea

So a few days ago i found something really weird. Tea thats actually a flower and it blooms when you pour the hot water on it. I first saw this in marie atoinette the film and i thought it was only for that time, so i was really excited when i found this.

Guess What came in the post today

My new and first corset... i forgot that you can't breath in them but dam its sexy.


Also i dunno if you can see it in this photo but my tea pot necklace came <3 i love it xxx

Leopard ...

Here is my new coat... and continuing with my pin up look. Here is my outfit for uni.


White tee and high waisted shorts.
Everything is from new look apart from necklace and flower

Ciao xx

My Love Affair ....

....With tea.
I love tea, any kind of tea. I always have to have a selection in my cupboard, i'm looking for a tea set that i can enjoy my tea in. I want the old fashioned cup and saucer but quirkier :).

pin up

Just a quick outfit post, many of you may not know i'm also into 1950's rockabilly style so here my kinda attempt at this.


Sorry bout the awkward stance, i'm wearing a pencil skirt, heels, black vest top, skull and crossbones cardi and a ice cream necklace

:)

Ciao Bella xxx

Mini Break

Hey, i won't be posting anything serious until the 15th as my lovely friend ivana is coming to vist me from prague there will be alot to update after though about our trips nd such :)


Lots of Love Vee xx