Things i love Thursday

Okay so this is cause i said i was being positive.

So things i'm loving include.

• Friends. New and old. I'm really thankful i have my friends they're there for the good times and the bad.
  
• Finishing my essay i know its a lame one and i shouldn't have left it to the last minute.
  
• Sunlight coming through my window in the morning, i took down my blackout curtains and its lovely to wake up naturally.
  
• Fresh flowers, this is one of the things i am getting when my loan comes through along with batteries and hairdye my roots are getting pretty bad.
  
• My satin sheets, i know it sounds silly but i really like the feel of them on my skin.
  
• Burlesque, this is a new hobby of mine i'm practicing in the new year to make me feel sexy and give me a bit more confidence.
• One person room raves, seriously if you are ever feeling the slightest bit down put some upbeat music on and dance in your underwear best cure ever!
  

That is all for this thursday.

Ciao xxx

Happy 2011

This picture pretty much sums up the state i was in .... on the right is my new found friend i had many more, but if that party describes the year coming i'm in for a good one.

Out with the old, In with the new

No i'm not talking about gifts yet (that is a thing for a later date). What i am talking about though is thinking.

Recently i stumbled on a blog by Gala Darling( http://galadarling.com) which was very inspirational, i have no idea how that girl comes up with these amazing upbeat articles but its totally changed my outlook on life. After recently getting ditched for no apparent reason by the man who i thought was 'the one' i thought it was going to be wallowing in another pit of dispear which life threw at me, probably due to the mercury retrograde though. Instead of chasing after this guy, which he may or may not come back i decided to love myself instead. Obviously you are not born optimistic but it helps if the environment you grew up in was upbeat and positive, sadly mine was not but after reading Gala Darling's articles, old and new, i felt like i could face the world again. It made me realise i can do anything i put my mind to and more, i'm going to cherish the little things and try and get off the internet and spend more time outside, time with friends, time with myself.

Try positive thinking today, when i get back to my place in stafford i'm going to stick a quote simplying saying 'Smile' On my mirror so i will see it every morning.

So i want to say a big thank you to Gala Darling for being so inspirational, i look up to you and you are such a role model for me.

Ciao
xoxoxo

Can a heart still break when its stopped beating?

Well as the title states some unkind gentleman has broken my heart 3 days before Xmas, which wasn't appreciated. He still likes me apparently which is bollocks really sorry for my bad language but if he still liked me maybe he'd still be with me. The excuse i got was he isn't over his ex and needs sometime to sort out his head... heres praying he comes back to me....He came to pick me up on sunday as well took me out to dinner and cinema and didn't tell me then, he told me two days later over text. I know i shouldn't really wait for him to come back, but i haven't exactly got men queueing for me and in my heart he was 'The one' Silly really a guy i've known for a month thinking he could be the one. But we had so much in common, we'll see what the new year brings.

Would you wait for a guy or Would you just move on?

Ciao xxx

The Past Becomes You

Round this time of year I always look back and see what i have accomplished and basically reflect upon the year gone by.
So Lets look at some of my achievements this year :
-The first one that springs to mind is living in another country (Greece). This was a massive acheievement within my life, firstly I wanted to live in another country to prove my independance at first it felt like a holiday but then i became massively homesick and then i got over that and got on with it. Whilst there i learnt the language which everyone always looks at me and goes isn't greek a really hard language to learn and yes it was but thats why i felt i'd accomplished something i felt really good and i made some amazing friends within that time.
-I found a house after my boyfriend at the time decided he didn't want to live with me which was difficult and has led to some difficult times this year due to other circumstances.
-I got a job because i only had £7 of my overdraft left which made me realise that money means a lot to me.
-I also survived heartbreak and met another beautiful person who teaches me money doesn't matter as long as you enjoy what you are doing.
-In a way i realised how much my family means to me, being away from them and then seeing them again really put things in perspective but i still want to move to another country in the future.
Things i need to consider next year :
- What i'm going to do with my life...like job wise as my degree is coming to an end, i mean i know what i want to do but its just getting there really.
- Future life... like where i'll live, who i want to keep close after this experience at uni and maybe even potential love life.

This is a really long post but its putting things into perspective for me and Well on that note.

I wish you all a merry christmas and a happy new year!!!!!

Ciao xxxx

Isolation

(wow two posts in two days i have a lot of thoughts, also this is kind of becoming my personal diary i hope none of you mind, who were expecting post in fashion etc)

Well on the subject on isolation, I've been reading about burlesque and in this book it tells you to think about what inspires you and i guess the feeling of isolation really inspires me. I guess its because i have been isolated most of my life. I guess this started from watching early Tim Burton films and i really identified with characters in his films, like Edward scissorhands the boy who couldn't touch and the villians in his films were always just misunderstood people. Recently i've been watching some really bleak things and getting into bands like Joy division and remembering my love for the smiths and the cure. I mean i can also kind of relate to Frankensteins monster in that he wasn't a monster at all, just people didn't understand him and suddenly hated him for being different.
There have been times in my life that i was like Frankensteins monster really, i never had anywhere to fit in. In school i was the geek, people picked on me because i sounded posh and i really enjoyed school which many children don't, as i grew older i went in the goth/emo direction and found some people like me unfortunately they were quite immature and i had to stupidly lower my intelligence sometimes to hang out with them. Then i got to university and i don't know why but i got the label of a sexual deviant/ party animal but then when people find out about my geeky past i don't know why i still get mocked.
This post isn't a post for pity comments or anything but i've recently got into an awkward house situation and i just feel isolated the thing is that it isn't as bad as i thought it would be, i'm actually quite happy to be on my own saying that though i've spoken to Mr b and hes kinda the same as me quite depressive and pessimistic, but i'm not going to gush about it, its just nice i've found someone like me y'know instead of this angry mob trying to force me to fit into the world which i don't think i ever will.

Ciao xx

Life

Spose its been a while since i posted, both my dates with, lets call him mr b haha, went very well he is such a gentleman, we click on many levels and its really cool, but i don't want to blabber on about this because a relationship, if thats what i can call it, is between two people not the world.
In other news i watched Easy A i can really relate to it as people here think i'm a slut, i'm just a flirtacious person really but yeah that rang a bell with me and i wish my life was like an 80's romance movie haha like that scene in Say Anything with john cussack holding the boombox outside her window.

Apart from that my living situation has become kinda awkward but i guess i can ride it out till may and see what happens. I want to take up two new hobbies burlesque and photography but the photography will have to stay on hold till i can afford an SLR but i have ordered a how to burlesque dvd and a book on burlesque.

Ciao xxx